I'm still standing better than I ever did...

(hey, it's the only Elton John song I like, gimme a break)

Ok, so...shitloads of water weight gain later...I'm finally on the fast. This shit tastes disgusting, but I'm dealing w/it by not breathing while I drink :p heh I think I may need to go back to the maple syrup afterall, b/c the molasses version is FOUL...ya hear? holla!!

Anyway, the water will melt off...the weight will go back to what it was, and things will be fine. Realized Saturn finally went direct in Virgo the other day, so I think that's gonna help me get back on target. :) (what? oh, leave astrology alone for a day...)

The first few days are always the most difficult. But, after that it should be smooth sailing....

Start date of fast: 05/05/08 (hey! cinco de mayo...whoopee)
Last day of fast: 05/15/08
Transition period: 05/16 - 05/19

Yeah, it's hard to go back to food after not eating for awhile. It basically goes like this - continue w/fasting liquid, add broth; next day - liquid, broth, then juice; day after that - liquid, broth, juice, then soup; day after that (last day of transition) - liquid, broth, juice, soup, fruit. After that, you can pretty much go back to eating "normally"...ya know, but HEALTHIER. Otherwise, you went thru all that for nothing. I leave for NYC on May 23rd. Don't know how things will fare whilst on the road, but it shouldn't be too terrible. :) Anyway, that's all I've got to add right now. Will update again soon...

no worries...

I haven't given up...still around...will be doing a fast for awhile, so there won't be any food log updates for a bit, til I'm off the fast. Anyways, since I don't really have anything to share otherwise - here's a few pics :)

This first one is my baby, Tiger - who was killed on March 5th. I still miss him & tear up a little when I think of him. You can see, he was quite the possessive little shit. ;) haha...And so is his brother, Saru, who is starring in the rest of the pics. Anyway, that's all I've got right now. Kitty pics...at least I didn't LOLZ them, right? RIP Tiger...and god bless Saru :)

wish I could say I was doing better today...

but I can't. I fully intended on getting up early and exercising, since everyone left fairly early. But nooooooo...didn't drag my ass out of bed til 9'ish. :( And did I get dressed to workout? Nope...Why? I don't really know. I mean, I know why I'm depressed, just wish I could push myself to exercise anyway. I KNOW it would make me feel better, at least for a little while. *sigh* So, here I sit, at the computer AGAIN, knoshing on a frickin' mustard sandwich (hey, condiment sandwiches are my comfort food, leave me alone :P) and drinking a bottle of water. At least it's not soda, right? And at least there isn't meat or cheese in the sandwich. (Trying to look on the brighter side of things.) *sigh* Anyway, I'm outties for now...

food log...04.21.2008

not a good day over here in lilly-land :( after getting the kids off to school, went right back to bed & didn't get up until 11am. yeah...and now? now i'm eating frickin' whataburger KETCHUP (it's got crack in it, i swear) on sesame seed buns...nothing else...oh no...why would there be anything else on there??? *sigh*

today alone, i have eaten: the above-mentioned sesame buns & whataburger ketchup (2), 4 mini reese's cups, approx. 1 c smoked cheddar popcorn, 4 cinnamon spice drop candies & a few sips of very flat Barq's (from last night? i dunno...the can is sitting here on the desk, and i decided "why not?")...what? me?? depressed??? nooooooooo... /sarcasm

at least i'm just snacking and not gobbling down buckets of food :( i'll try to update later...all i can say is - be glad i don't have ice cream or cheese in the house...*sigh*

dinner: had 2 of the crabmeat stuffed mushrooms, 1 dinner roll (yes, w/butter), a nice sized filet (rare), some broccoli au gratin, & half of a bananas foster (and later, a creme brulee that we took home) :P it was fantastic, I must say...but oh so fattening!

ugh...

no ruth's chris tonight, got delayed til tmrw. but i haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks, so there isn't much to eat here...so, i did the worst thing possible...whataburger! i'm so sick right now...i want to die...ugh!

update: less than an hr after the above incident, I pretty much vomited the whole thing...not surprising, as this sort of thing has happened before...yes, i know! i'm either dense or hard-headed. *sigh* I'll tell you this, you know how it got really annoying when they started tagging everything w/"extreme" (extreme sports, etc.)...well, my life has gone "extreme" and i'm not liking it. will come back w/more later...ttfn

food log...04.19.2008

no food log today...ate very weird food...tmrw is the man's bday, so we are going to ruth's chris steakhouse...wish me luck!!

inquiring minds want to know...

who the hell is visiting my blog from Redwood City, CA? Curious, that's all....

writing...

In an effort to dust off my writing skills, I've decided to write a few articles for this here blog. I'm trying to jot down ideas every day and such. I think 2-3 articles a week would be good for now.

The plan is to write one article based on this little weight loss journey I'm on & another article about food in general. The food article would probably comprise a recipe or two, along w/some pictures or something, and some general info about the nutrients found in said food. I think that would be interesting for some people b/c I know I'm always looking for new recipes & stuff to try. So, actually, this will benefit in two ways, b/c I'll be honing my writing skills AND my photography skills at once! Wee! :)

Anyway, as for the more personal article, I don't know. I think I can help people who are struggling or having a hard time of things. I know I don't always have an easy time w/all this. But, I love to help people and think it would be awesome if something I wrote inspired someone or helped in some way. So, that's the plan...just thought I'd put that out there, that way I'm held accountable. I had the intention to do it, now I've stated it, so now I have to do it!

The kids should be home soon, so I better get ready to go back out & have some fun while the sun's still shining. (Not that it ever really stops shining in Texas *sigh*) ttfn!

food log...04.18.2008

sorry, sorry, sorry! i know i'm late...life happens, you know? anyway...

8am = shot of POM & an apple
12N = cup of tomato basil soup & spinach salad (spinach, strawberries, pecans, mushrooms & red peppers) w/lite vinaigrette
2pm = grande nonfat caramel macchiato (i know, i know...but i had a craving, and it's not like i drink coffee all the time)
6pm = pb&j on ww pita
8pm = asian wrap w/chickpeas!! (i had them hold the chicken & i put in some chickpeas once i got it home...mmmm)

ow! ow! ow!

My thighs were apparently planning a revolt overnight, based upon the torture and torment that I put them through yesterday. Because today, they are barely functioning...talk about revenge! haha...weight went down a notch...I think I'm gaining muscle right now from the weight lifting I've been doing. Yes, I know, I haven't been logging it, but trust me...my arms and legs can attest to it! ;)

challenge...

so, there's this challenge thingy going on over @ traineo - it's nearly done me in! heh...had to do 5 exercises (squats, lunges, jumping jacks, situps, and burpees), 1 min ea/max reps, no rest btwn exercises, 5 min total for 1 set - rest for a min - then two more sets. My thighs were killin' me on the squats (though these were probably my favourites out of all the exercises as I love squats!)...the lunges seemed to go sooooooo sloooooooow...the jumping jacks killed my poor boobies (even w/my best sports bra on)...the situps were the only ones that seemed easy...and the burpees? holy shit, the burpees...reminded me of sun salutations on crack!! I'll post my results here to prove to myself months from now that I really did this insane thing. I don't know if I'm going to try to improve my #s or not, but I might give it a shot before the challenge is "closed". ok, so....

*drumroll*

squats 51/49/50 (best - 51)
lunges 20/24/22 (best - 24)
situps 32/30/32 (best - 32)
jumping jacks 40/45/46 (best - 46)
burpees 12/14/16 (best - 16)

right now, my thighs are killin' me...man, i don't even wanna go to the bathroom, it hurts so much (not to sit down...to GET UP!!) AYYYYYYEEE! and I've had a raging headache all morning...I swear, right now I just wanna go back to bed! lol....toodles, poodles!

food log...04.17.2008

9:30 = smoothie - banana; strawberries; plain soy milk
11:00 = apple
1:00 = pb&j on whole wheat pita & small salad
4:00 = apple
7:30 = homemade pizza again (the kids were begging)...carrots later on ;)

push!

so, I pushed myself today...did 45 mins cardio & 45 mins weights. all upper body stuff since my legs were dead from the cardio...heh

anyway...good times...good times... ;)

food log...04.16.2008

I'm so terrible...I didn't eat "breakfast" until 12N...and I've been up since 6am...wtf? I'm so weird...anyway...

12N = apple & raisin coleslaw (need to get some protein in there, maybe i'll grab some almonds)

I'm so proud of me! the man brought home bbq last night & I just ate my salad & had a teensy bit of bbq beans :) No sausage or brisket for me!! :-D hehe

salad = romaine, tomato, red onion, red peppers, & some chickpeas w/a nice balsamic dressing

food log...04.15.2008

confession: I've had at least 3 blueberry muffins today...*sigh* what will become of me when I'm doing this (baking) for my career??? sheesh
good news: I had a bowl of that raisin coleslaw as well...nothing else "bad" - no chocolate, no other sweets, nothing...

no idea what's for dinner...I need to go grocery shopping, but that's probably not going to happen *sigh* c'est la vie!

so, I decided to make pizza for dinner (had a craving)...made the dough & the sauce, topped mine w/soy cheese, onions & mushrooms ...the kids got a little pepperoni on theirs :P oh, and i had some diet pepsi...which is why i think i'm bloated right now :(

lns (late night snack) = carrots! yummm

yes, we have no bananas...

we have no bananas todaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

(sorry, i like that song)
anyway, i have no bananas...i haven't been drinking my smoothies...yes, i know i could make them w/o a banana, but i like them w/a banana...call me crazy, but i'm bananas for bananas ;) haha

anyway, so i had a blueberry muffin for breakfast....what?? it's not like they're STORE BOUGHT (as if!!) ;)

ok, ok...fiiiiine...i'm crazy...call it a sugar rush ;) i'll bbl w/more, i promise...IDEAS, ppl...i gots 'em

blueberry muffins

not terribly diet friendly, but i tried to make 'em healthier by cutting the sugar, using whole wheat flour & cutting half the fat with applesauce...i also added more blueberries than the recipe called for...they're REALLY yummy!

disturbing precedent

I don't know what's wrong w/me...I keep STOPPING :( I don't like stopping...stopping means not moving, not moving means no progression, no progression means no results, no results means my fat ass stays MY FAT ASS! Not good...must change that...will do so now! toodles!

food log...04.12.2008

somewhere around 10 am I had a venti caramel macchiato from starbucks...i almost never drink coffee, so this was a bit unusual for me...i love coffee, don't get me wrong...it's just that i don't often have a desire to drink it *shrug*

took the kids to the movies around 12:30 & got a lightly salted pretzel (yup, that's it! no butter drenched popcorn, no candy, no soda...go me!!)

anyway, i'm waiting on my jason's deli order right now - I ordered a basic salad & the vegetarian pasta dish... :) let's hope they're not late....AGAIN *sigh*

measurements....

so, I was bored earlier & decided to take my measurements...I was able to compare w/measurements I had taken in Dec last yr when I was 294 lbs (yeah, that's not a typo), which is very close to my starting weight of 303 lbs (again, NOT an effin' typo) as of Jan 28th :P

Here's what I got (along w/what I've lost in parens):

Neck: 15 1/2" (-1/2")
Bust: 49 1/2" (-1")
Chest: 40 1/2" (-1/2")
Waist: 44" (-3")
Hips: 57" (-3")
Thighs: 33 1/2" (-1 1/2")
Calves: 19" (-1/2")
Upper Arm: 19" (-1/2")
Forearm: 11 1/2" (-1/2")

Soooooooooooooo, the grand total is -11 inches, bay-bee!! woohoo!

takin' the day off today

yep, no food log, no exercise, no nuttin' :P tune in tomorrow for our regularly scheduled programming ;)

food log...04.10.2008

9:30am = 1 Van's Organic Flax waffle (115 cal) w/1/2 Tbsp Smart Balance (25 cal) & abt 2 tbsp sugar free syrup (20 cal); 1 fuji apple
12n = handful of funyuns...yes, i know they're awful for you, but i love them :P
2:30pm = 1 c raisin coleslaw* (had to make up for the funyuns...heh)
4:15pm = abt 15 sm crackers ("bite size", similar to Ritz, but generic) & 1 oz Neufchâtel
8:00pm = more raisin coleslaw & some grapes

*it's really quite tasty, though i'm thinking of modifying the recipe a little more to my taste...i already adjusted a few things, but i think i could make it even better ;)

pics! hee hee....

so, here's the pics...decided to do them now vs. tmrw...the jeans are old jeans (love the fact that both tops are long enough to hide the baggy stomach area on these jeans...i can never find my size in the flare style @ the store...damn them) anyway...i still look short & frumpy, but who cares? i love the outfits :) ok, that's it...off to pamper & stuff ;)

clothes...

so, I know I shouldn't buy much in the way of clothes, but I haven't been buying much lately, and I hate most of the clothes I have...plus, I HATE IT when my jeans are loose. I'm not even exaggerating, I really f'in hate it when the tummy "pooches out" & shit...omg...you've no idea how much that drives me nuts...anyway...

so, I bought two new tops and...brace yourself...a skirt...holy shit, yes, I bought a f'in skirt!! I can't even tell you the last time I bought a skirt, let alone wore one. So, here's the kicker...back in January, I bought a few shirts...all size 22/24. Yesterday, the shirts I got were 18/20!!! And they fit BEAUTIFULLY!!! Now, I'm still a 24 in pants (I think...I've been buying Right Fit jeans and have gone from a 7, to a 6, and now I'm a 5), but the skirt I got? Size 22, baby!!! Holy shit...a 22! Now, I can get away w/a smaller skirt b/c of my waist...It's my damned hips & ass that keep me in 24s. :(

Anyway, slowly but surely, the sizes are going down! I'll try to post some pics tomorrow...maybe...I need to chill out today and do some minor pampering...you know...like actually shaving my legs ;) haha...can't remember the last time I did that either (I'm so hairless, it's not funny, which is why I never shave) :P Seriously, though, my legs are blindingly white...need to shave & use some sort of sunless tanner stuff...hehe...toodles!

banana muffins

so, i made banana muffins tonight...subbed applesauce for the fat again & used abt 1/2 the sugar the recipe called for. they came out really tasty! i have to admit, i've had 2 of them already. made 12 & there's only 2 left, so i'd say they were a sucess! ;) i'll see if i can post the recipe (w/my modifications) tmrw.

food log...04.09.2008

11am = fruit smoothie (you know what's in 'em already, don't you?? lol)
6:30pm = (yes, i really haven't had anything to eat since 11am...haven't been hungry!) salad (usual romaine, roma tomato, red bell pepper, cucumber, & brainy blueberry dressing) & 1 c whole grain pasta w/sauce (yes, i make my own...keeps for abt 1 wk in the fridge...if you want the recipe, lemme know ;) hehe)

Turbo Jam!!!

(I'm cross-posting this from the Turbo Jam forum on Traineo, k? k...)

Well, I just got the Turbo Jam Maximum Results set...all I can say is WOW! My poor thighs! hahaha...

I've been doing the Walk at Home 3 Mile workout (w/Leslie Sansone) prior to this and Turbo Jam is DEFINITELY a step up in intensity. I only did the Learn & Burn, but I was sweating up a storm and really felt the burn in my abs & thighs. It was really fun! I can't wait to try the other workouts. But, I'm gonna stick w/the Learn & Burn 'til I have all the moves down. LOVED the capoeira moves mixed in...I'm 1/2 Brazilian and always wanted to learn capoeira!

Anyway, just wanted to share & say this is a really awesome workout!! You don't need much room at all (only had to push my coffee table out of the way). And they show modified moves for those of us who are a little slow or out of shape. ;) I liked the instructor, Chalene, a lot. Yeah, she's a little goofy, but her personality reminds me of my own, so I was diggin' it.

p.s. how fabulous are those hand weights?!! I can totally see using them w/my Walk at Home workouts, too! As well as when I actually go for a walk outdoors! hehe

weeeeee!!!!!!!

still dancing around...not always in my chair, tho'...some songs are too good & my headphones are long enough ;) hehe....music is beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful!

food log...04.08.2008

ok, i don't even know what to put down for today...i pretty much snacked on a few grapes this morning and that was it...been in a terrible downward spiral for a while and i think i'm finally beginning to stop spinning...*sigh* i forced myself to eat a turkey reuben from jason's (way too much sodium, i know...esp. since i always ask for extra sauerkraut [god help me, but i LOVE the stuff], but it's only 22% of cals from fat...abt 430 cals total)

OMG...my fave song!!!!!!!!!!!! haha...sorry, The Boxer by The Chemical Bros. just came on Pandora...anyway....

so, i had the reuben & a fruit cup (and yes, i ate their totally yummy yogurt concoction that they give you w/the fruit...b/c it's delicious, that's why!!!) and a diet boylan's black cherry soda :P

i know i had POM at some point today...but no random snacking...no crackers, no cheese, no nothing...talk about bad...*sigh* anyway, i feel a bit better...should be much better after some "retail therapy" tomorrow...only thing really bumming me out right now is the fact that i have laundry to fold...i HATE laundry (esp. socks, which are the bane of my existence) >:(

oh yeah, and i've been bopping around in my chair for well over an hr now...god bless Pandora & my "Daft Punk radio" ;) lol

so not about my weight...

i don't know what it is, but when someone professes they are a "nerd" and claims to have taken "advanced placement" courses, etc., i expect more from them...and when you read an article by said person & they write per se as "per say" and write "past" instead of passed...well...colour me judgmental, but that totally negates their previous statements about nerdiness, IMHO :P

i realize many would think i'm not as intelligent as i am due to my disdain of capital letters, my overuse of smilies, and tendency towards run on sentences...do i care? not really, as i don't go around talking about how nerdy i am or whatever...

do you ever find yourself having moments like this? where someone says something completely off and it changes your opinion of them? i don't like doing that, it just seems to happen sometimes...

wants/needs

• need to get the adj. weight dumbells today (either that or get one of those weight pyramid thingies)
• should be getting the turbo jam later on today
• want to get a new sports bra...need more than one w/all this working out i'm doing, eh? ;)
• want to get out of san antonio & go to the coast...missing water lately
• need to cash that damned tax refund ck today!!

*update*

• deposited check, will go buy weights tmrw
• TurboJam arrived!!! yay!! and what's cool is that it came w/weighted gloves, so i don't have to go buy some to kick up my Walk at Home workouts ;) will try out TJ tmrw morning
• will order sportsbra & other asst items tmrw as well
• priced some Disney pkgs for upcoming vacation...will hit up the water in Cocoa Beach prior to arrival in Orlando :P

that is all.... ;)

food log...04.07.2008

10am = smoothie (usual ingredients, banana, berries, soymilk)
12n = apple w/1 T peanut butter
3:30pm = veggie burger on sesame bun w/tomato & lettuce + 1 tsp catsup; lipton diet green tea
5pm = POM + club soda; 5 pcs dove choc w/caramel (yeah, yeah...but i NEED chocolate!!! lol)

food log...04.06.2008

there is no food log today...i'm planning on drinking only water & a little POM today. ttfn!

*updated* started out ok, then started snacking on everything in sight...no weight gain from this, but i really wish i didn't react like this when my damn period strikes :(

fit

i almost can't wait to start seriously lifting weights again! we got a weight bench w/the leg extension thingy & preacher curl pad last week. i've been testing things out to see how much weight i can handle. anyway, now all i need are some dumbells & i'll be set :) w00t! can't wait!!

food log...04.05.2008

10am = potato & egg taco (didn't eat all of the tortilla)
12pm - 3pm = snacked on way too much junk, can't even list it all...stressed, monthly bill came...don't wanna talk about it :(

black bean citrus salad

(click to enlarge for recipe)

I wanted to post this recipe from New Vegetarian Cuisine b/c I've tried it before and it's really delicious. I won't be eating it tonight, but I might make it tomorrow. I really need to get back to making hummus every week (along w/my whole wheat pitas). I haven't been eating my beans, and that's not good. Anyway, sorry it's just a scan, but I really didn't want to type it all out. (by the by, you can see how much I really like this cookbook, right? look at all my post-it flags! hahahaha) :)

amazing...

amazing what a little time spent w/your children will do for you ;) i feel so much better now...

some days

i really wish people would lighten the fuck up...i'm no expert, and i'm not perfect...all i know is what works for me...and if sharing that helps others, then great...i don't tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do...i don't understand why i have to put up with people telling ME what i should do all goddamned day...people are crazy...end of story

i'm so bluuuuuuuuue...feelin' bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuue

haha...ok, not really...i'm such a strange duck...i pulled a bag of blueberries from the freezer to defrost & i'm all excited b/c i'll be using them to make my FAVOURITE salad dressing today...here's the recipe:

BRAINY BLUEBERRY DRESSING

½ pack frozen blueberries
2 dates
2 tbsp raspberry vinegar
1 tbsp lemon juice

Blend together.

Got the recipe from Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman (awesome book, btw)....i swear, i actually make "yummy sounds" while eating a salad w/this dressing on it. granted, you probably have to like blueberries to enjoy it, but it's just soooo delicious...

can ya tell i'm excited?? hahahaha...i'm such a nut :P

god help me...

i'm having one of those "someone is WRONG on the internet" moments... *sigh*
must. resist. replying...haha

in other news, i think i'm still recuperating from the illness i had earlier in the week...i'll be glad to start up the bfl thing next week though. :)

food log...04.04.2008

am = 2 oz POM & smoothie: banana, strawberries & 1/2 c unsweetened soymilk + handful raw nuts
snack = grapes!!! :D

1:26 pm - now i'm stressed out and eating like a mo' fo'...what the hell?? i don't even know what to label this...lunch? a snack? i ate about 6 olives, a piece of bread w/mustard on it, a choc chip muffin, about 1/2 c of cooked pasta (cold, right out of the fridge, no less) & a shitload of carrots - all in the last 10-20 mins....wtf? i hate stress :(
dammit, i forgot about the pretzels...handful of pretzels, too :( fucking hell...i'm sooo gaining weight from this...why can't people just leave me the fuck alone? :(
2:19 - veggie burger on sesame bun & big salad...no blueberry dressing yet...saving that for tonight :D

*happy dance*

my shoes arrived!!! wooohoooo!!!!! I placed the order yesterday, dude...and they got here TODAY! do you understand? free shipping...and i got them TODAY. crazy...but you gotta love zappos.com

anywho, here are some pics...yes, i know they are crocs, and trust me, i probably hate crocs more than you do...but they're cute! and comfy...and i love them...so, :P~ thbbbpppptttt!!!!!! (be nice, i'm actually showing you my c'ankles & giant calves :( heh)




and yes, i know my feet look incredibly small, but trust me...they are not small...anyways, i'm happy...they're comfy and cute...*dances off to make lunch* ;)

food log...04.03.2008

am = smoothie (1 banana, half bag of froz blueberries + a few froz strawberries & 1/2 c unsweetened soymilk)
noon = romaine, 1 roma tomato, 1/2 red bell pepper (they're huge), 1 cucumber w/dressing (balsamic vin., onion pwdr, garlic pwdr & tarragon)
snack = handful of pretzels (yes, i know...bad sodium! bad!! *sigh*
pm* = whole grain pasta (abt 1 cup, cooked) w/fresh tomato sauce (i put TONS of veggies in my tomato sauce) & a salad
snack = grapes

*the rest of the fam w/be getting turkey meatballs w/theirs...i was thinking i could probably make "meatballs" out of chickpeas (will experiment another day) and bake them (after all, falafels are kinda like chickpea meatballs! lol)...that's on my "to do" list ;) i need to eat more beans though...should've had some w/my salad :(

what the hell...

everyone and their mother seems to want to talk to me today...
i haven't been able to get my morning workout in...at all!
i haven't even eaten breakfast & it's now FIVE HOURS since i woke up...
this is NOT good for my weight loss, people! lol
what to do, what to do? do i eat breakfast? postpone the workout?
i think that's what i should do...eating is more important than the exercise right now
goodness, but i HATE making decisions!!! :P

by the by...i took a new pic this morning to compare w/the other...
they say it can take as much as 2-3 months for weight loss to show on a woman's body (depending on amt lost, i say)...
i don't know...it's only 6 lbs lost since the last pic...
but it SEEMS like there's a difference...might post it later just to see what y'all think ;)

30 lbs!!

*happy dance* 30 lbs lost!! w00t!! (30.3, to be exact)

i'm a happy, happy girl! ;)

food log...04.02.2008 UPDATE

snack = 2 oz POM w/1 can Fresca & sm choc chip muffin
(now b4 you get on my case for the muffin - i made them myself w/ whole wheat pastry flour, date sugar, soy milk, egg beaters, & unsweetened applesauce instead of oil...the only fat is in the choc, so :-P!)

exercise & shopping

now, if you know me at all, you know that i seriously dislike shopping...i've been known to shop at the super wally world (wal-mart) at 4am for my groceries simply b/c i hate the whole shopping "experience" (i.e., people...lol) grocery shopping, in fact, ranks right up there w/visiting my peesh doc, so yeah...i'm not overly enthused.

now, when i lived in nj/ny, it was a bit better b/c there were plenty of farmer's markets & bodegas to visit for my stuff...here in tx (where they grow just about everything) farmer's markets are not easy to find or come by...so, i'm stuck going to h-e-b (our main grocery store...there's also sun harvest & whole foods for the gourmet stuff) for everything...

let me describe to you my usual shopping "experience", shall i? this way you'll get an idea of what i go thru:

1. first, there's the people...always an endless stream of people to get into this place...why? i don't fucking know...there's an h-e-b every 3 miles in this town, you'd think people would just stay local
2. get the cart, walk to the far end of the store and start there (logical, no?)...but first have to fight my way through all the lolly-gaggers in the frickin' main aisle to get to that far end *sigh* oh, and this store is gigantic...HUGE...takes at least 1-2 mins just to reach the far end
   
3. get all the heavy stuff first and load up the cart, trying to move as swiftly as possible around gramps who can't decide which crackers to buy, or suzy homemaker who leaves her cart on one side of the aisle, but stands on the other side to peruse the multitudes of laundry detergents available to her, or billy picks-his-nose-a-lot who insists on running in and out of the aisle like this is play-land (how i miss the grocer's in nj that have little play-lands built in where the kiddos can stay while mommy or daddy does the shopping) *double sigh*
4. often i am left standing there, patiently waiting for said "aisle blocker" to move their farking carcass outta my way...do i say anything? not usually...i hate to be a bitch...but when my tolerance level has been breached, i do *cough* & say excuse me while desperately trying to nudge my way past the rude bastard *heavy duty sigh*
5. it's at this point that i usually check my list, realize i forgot something 5 aisles ago & have to backtrack to get it...this is often more arduous than the first time around b/c all the slow people i left behind ARE STILL THERE!!!!! *whew* sorry, got away from me for a second
   
6. produce is always last & here i take my time...i always go shopping w/a list, but things often change depending on what's available, what's fresh, etc. lately they've been having a lot of tropical fruit, so i've been loading up! :) anyway, this is the only area i go slow, but it's worth it and i always pay attention to the "traffic" and try to stay out of other people's way...
7. then it's on to the check out...my cart is usually PACKED w/stuff...i'm very organized and have a "system" (you knew i'd say that, didn't you?)...i have a system for UNPACKING it as well...honestly, i wish they'd let me bag my own groceries...but that seems to be against the law in tx, b/c every time i try, someone comes rushing over to do it for me...weirdos...anyway, i try to get everything on the conveyor as fast as possible...i'm usually sweating at this point from all the (attempts at) speed walking thru the store, plus by the time i'm done, i'm pushing about 300 lbs of groceries around (not exaggerating)...they always ask if i need help taking it out to the car & i always (politely) say no...it used to offend me, 'til i realized they have to do it...
8. take everything out to the car, load up the back (again, i have a system!! lol) and go home
9. get everything inside the house, unpack, put away, blah blah...usually still a little sweat there, too

and there you have it...after i roll up all the bags (saves space & we use them as kitchen trash bags), i'm done...but do you see? do you see all the crap i have to go thru? i HATE shopping...i HATE slow people...i realize that may be me one day, but by god, i will do everything in my power to keep that from happening!!! sheesh...

(events might have been slightly over-dramatized for your amusement ;) hehe)

p.s. now you know why i log this shit as a workout on traineo...all in all, i spent over 2 hrs shopping today...wtf???

organic food bar - omega-3 flax flavour

as you may or may not recall, i've reviewed the vegan organic food bar & the active greens organic food bar previously...today, i tried the omega-3 flax flavour...either i'm getting used to these things, or they're getting better, b/c the omega-3 one wasn't so bad. here's the breakdown:

310 cal - 140 fat cal (but all from healthy fats) - 100% raw - 8g dietary fiber - 10g organic protein - 8000mg bio-sprouts(tm)

and the standard that all the bars have/are: Non-GMO - Alkaline forming - No Trans Fats - No Refined Sugars

and the ingredient list, for those interested, all certified organic:

Organic Almond Butter, Organic Dates, Organic Agave Nectar, Organic Bio-Sprouts(tm) - Flax, Organic Bio-Sprouts(tm) - Quinoa, Organic Biodynamic(tm) Demeter Raisins, Organic Sesame Seeds and "Lots of Love!"

aside from the oily film in the mouth after each bite (yeah, can't get over that! always drink tons of water when i eat these to wash it away), it was REALLY tasty....i actually liked this one better than the vegan one...AND it's 100% raw...that's awesome...anyway, like i said in the last post, you can find these at allstarhealth.com, or if you don't want to buy bulk before trying, check out your local supermarket (better off trying to find them at whole foods/wild oats) ;) oh, and if you want to check out their website, it's www.organicfoodbar.com

food log...04.02.2008

am = an apple & a handful of grapes*
noon = organic food bar (omega-3 flax) + apricot "leather" strip
pm = other half of asian chicken wrap~ & salad (romaine, tomato, cucumber, peppers + balsamic vin.)

*yes, i know i should eat more, but this headache is kicking my ass...excuse me while i od on excedrin :P
~ for the curious, here's the description: Grilled chicken breast marinated in Japanese tonkatsu sauce with lettuce, julienne carrots, fresh cilantro and sweet chili sauce in a flour tortilla. Contains fish sauce, soybeans and wheat.
and the nutrition info (remember, these #s are for the whole wrap! i only ate 1/2 ea. time): calories (505); fat g (11); protein g (44); carb g (79); dietary fibre g (5); sugar g (26)

food log update...04.01.2008

pm = garden salad w/balsamic vin. & 1/2 asian chicken wrap (less than 20% calories from fat & i picked out most of the chicken)

body for life goals

so, part of the whole body for life (bfl) program is setting up a series of goals you would like to achieve in the 12 weeks of the program. now, mind you...if i start this thing next monday, i won't be done until June 30th. which is a few weeks after my start at FCI...it will be interesting to see how i get my workouts in then! heh anyway, here's what i've got so far:

Goals

1. I will lose 40 lbs of fat within 12 weeks
   
2. I will bench press 100 lbs within 12 weeks
3. I will jog 1 mile within 12 weeks
4. I will do a yoga headstand within 12 weeks
5. I will do 100 crunches w/o stopping within 12 weeks

Unauthorized Patterns of Action

• I will eat high-nutrient foods & limit all low-nutrient foods (no cheating!!)
  
• I will not skip any workouts
• I will allow myself only ONE "cheat" day per week (NOT 2)
  

New Patterns of Action

• I will lift weights four three* days a week
• I will eat six mini-meals a day
• I will get more sleep (at least 7 hrs a night)

oh, and i will make sure to read my goals & action items every morning & every night ;)


*edited to just three...dude doesn't want you lifting weights more than 3x's a week :(

food log...04.01.2008

am = smoothie: strawberries, banana & grapes + 1/2 c van. soymilk
noon = whole grain tortilla w/1 T peanut butter (organic) & 1 T strawberry all-fruit pres. + baby carrots (abt 20)
snack = a handful of brazil nuts

body for life & turbo jam

ok, so i broke down and got the body for life book this weekend. i've known about this book for many years and since everyone seems to be mentioning it to me lately, i figured it was about time i got it. now, the premise is fairly simple: do weight lifting 3 x's a wk & do cardio 3 x's a week; eat 6 mini meals a day (1 portion ea. from three groups of food: protein, carbs, veggies = a meal) & have 1 "free" day a week. all well & good, though i'm not planning on eating "protein" (i.e., meat...nevermind that there's tons of protein in veggies) every day. i don't mind eating fish once a week or so, but that's probably going to be it for me. and frankly, that will probably only occur on my "free" day. but, i could see how this would work for others....i was on a diet/fitness regimen many yrs ago when i lived in fl, and i was basically eating 6 meals a day, drinking lots of water, etc. of course, i was SUPPOSED to exercise only 6 days a week, but i was a bit obsessed and i did it every day. his thing w/the weights (and cardio) is to build up the intensity of each set (or cardio) w/lower reps/greater weight...blah blah...i'll have more to talk about once i actually start it. i plan on doing cardio every day though. so far, i tend to do it four days a week. so, we'll see how this works out. :) which leads me to....

beachbody sent me an email letting me know that my turbo jam order was on its way! :) yay!!! i'm really excited about trying this one out. again, as i stated earlier, i will probably start out doing this every other day - so, 3-4 x's a week...i figure, between the bfl & the turbojam, i should drop another 20-30 lbs in the next 12 weeks (the length of the bfl program)...wish me luck!!

food log...03.31.2008

am = banana & orange
pm = tried to eat some crackers...stomach still very painful :( will probably eat nothing further today

yes...yes...

i know i didn't log my food intake for two days, but you know what? i'm allowed...it was my bday weekend...i didn't exactly eat a lot of bad foods...just wasn't feeling well all weekend, so opted not to log anything. :P

anyway, that's all i have to say about that!

another year older...

i hate birthdays...

food log update...03.28.2008

pm = snowpeas & waterchestnuts w/steamed rice

:-S

well, i don't know what it is, but i feel totally lethargic today...didn't want to get out of bed...don't want to do shit right now...am debating forcing myself to exercise b/c it usually makes me feel better...maybe i'll just go for a walk, or pop in one of my yoga dvds...*le sigh* ever have one of those days?? :-\

food log...03.28.2008

am = one banana
noon = 1 c whole grain pasta w/veggies (see below for recipe & photo) & grapes
snack = cashews (unsalted, of course...lightly toasted)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
veggie topping:

• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 c sliced mushrooms
• 1 large (or 2 medium) red bell peppers
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/2 tsp tarragon
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 tsp canola oil

1. sautee onions in 1/2 tsp canola oil til translucent; add peppers & sautee an addtl min.; add mushrooms & garlic & continue sautee until mushrooms start to look soft
2. add spices/seasonings & cover pan to finish cooking mushrooms
3. after 5 mins or so, remove lid & allow to cook for an addtl min to reduce liquid in pan
4. can be used to top pasta or steamed veggies - or can even be put in wrap w/spinach or other leafy greens...serves 2-4 depending on how much you like veggies ;)

food log update...03.27.2008

snack = grapes & pineapple
pm = sm baked potato, butter buds & scallions; head o' romaine, roma
tomato, 1/2 red bell pepper, 1/2 cucumber, scallion & same dressing as
yesterday...it's my fave!!! :)
late night snack = more grapes & a few crackers

woohoo!

down another pound! yeah, bay-bee!!! I knew that hour of cardio yesterday would pay off!! haha
today, my thighs are killing me though...must've been all those squats! (eep!)

i've already gotten my core stability workout in...will do an hour of walking today (nothing crazy! no power walking, dangit!) to get a little cardio in, but i'm gonna give my thighs a break

today's danger is going out to lunch w/a friend...haven't seen her in ages...but you know...eating out is never easy when you're trying to eat "clean" (as i put it) here's proof!!

anyway, i shall do my best...maybe i can convince her to go to the mall...i can get my walking in & they have an awesome salad bar there...*crosses fingers* we shall see ;)

food log...03.27.2008

am = 2 oz. pom + some pineapple + handful of grapes + 5 strawberries
noon = grilled caribbean salad @ chili's - barely used any of the dressing and asked them to leave off the tortilla strips...yes, i ate the damned chicken, don't beat me up about it :( it wasn't much & it was lean & grilled (it was either that, or the firecracker tilapia - both end up around the same calories, but you get much more veggies in the salad, which is why i opted for that instead)

vegan organic food bar

well, this one isn't as bad as the active greens bar i ate...i didn't feel like making my usual salad (will probably grab some fruit in a bit), so i grabbed one of my organic food bars. the vegan one isn't too shabby...a slightly funny aftertaste, but otherwise it's pretty damned tasty! a little fruity...you can definitely taste the sesame seeds...all in all, one of the better flavours i've tried...it's got:

300 cal - 120 fat cal (but all from healthy fats) - 90% raw - 6g dietary fiber - 14g organic protein - 2000mg bio-sprouts(tm)

and here's the ingredient list, for those interested, all certified organic:

Organic Almond Butter, Organic Dates, Organic Agave Nectar, Organic Brown Rice Protein, Organic Bio-Sprouts(tm) - Flax, Biodynamic(tm) Demeter Raisins, Organic Bio-Sprouts(tm) - Quinoa, Organic Sesame Seeds and "Lots of Love!" (hehe)

anyway, i'd definitely recommend this flavour - though the cranberry & blueberry ones are still my favourite. i'm debating trying the chocolate "active greens" flavour, but i think it might kill me! ha!!

again, you can find these at allstarhealth.com, or if you don't want to buy bulk before trying, check out your local supermarket (better off trying to find them at whole foods/wild oats) ;)

finally!

finally saw the numbers going down this morning (and yesterday, a little, but that was recovery from the debauchery of this weekend past)...that was a relief...

i actually did a little over 1 hr of cardio today...w00t!! :D i popped in the Crunch Fitness Dance Party dvd first...made it thru about 15 mins of that before i wanted to kill the dancing bitch in front of me (hahaha)...and then popped in my Walk@Home dvd & did the whole workout...maaaaaan, my legs were KILLING ME...the dance dvd is kinda challenging, and i definitely moved around more...but it was fun! :)

ooh, ooh! and i ordered the Turbo Jam Maximum Results set from beachbody.com today!! weeeeeee!!!!! I can't wait to get it...i know that it will totally kill me and that i will barely be able to finish the "learn & burn" starter dvd, but it will soooo be worth it...i've heard so many great things about this set, i couldn't resist. :) w/the bonus pkg i'm getting a total of 6 dvds, plus weighted gloves and some other fun stuff...i'll definitely let you know how it goes - what i can do, and what kills me! hahaha

anyway, that's all the news that's fit to print right now ;) gonna see if i can squeeze in my core exercises today as well...wish me luck! ttfn

food log...03.26.2008

am = 2 oz. pom juice & a banana
snack = senna tea, abt 20 almonds
noon = vegan organic food bar (and LOTS of water to get it down...haha)
pm = head o'romaine, 1/2 red bell pepper, 1 cucumber, 1 green onion & dressing (balsamic vin., horseradish, garlic & dijon mustard) plus abt 1 c of carrots
late night snack = finished off the peas my kids left behind from THEIR dinner...god, i love peas!!! oh, and i had a handful of grapes, too

goals...

i so wanted to write "we don't need no stinking goals", but yeah...we do...now, i have one really long term goal, but i don't have many short term ones. i don't know if that's deliberate or not, actually...

you see, i'm mostly focused on improving my health. i want to be able to withstand standing for 10+ hrs/day while at FCI and i want to be healthier re: my blood sugar & cholesterol...

i mean, i've planned on rewarding myself (NOT with food! lol) for each 20 lbs lost, but that's about it....

right now, i'd just be so happy to get under 260 lbs....that particular weight seems to be my plateau point & it's always so hard to break thru that i end up giving up....but i refuse to give up this time, dang it!! :( i NEED to lose this weight...

so, there you have it...that's my current short term goal - get under 260 :P wish me luck!

**updated to add** as of today (3/27) i'm only 16.2 lbs away!!! weeeeee!!!!! maybe i'll be able to hit it by the end of april?? especially since i've got that turbo jam dvd set comin' in...woohoo!

food log...03.25.2008

am = pineapple
noon = tea & salad
pm = snowpeas & waterchestnuts w/steamed rice...sm cup o' soup
snack = a few pretzels and half a banana

move

all weight loss posts will now occur over here...exercises in futility will be shut down eventually...thanks ;)

food log...03.24.2008

am = senna tea, pineapple
noon/pm = crawfish bisque, citrus crusted tilapia, zucchini ribbons & a little garlic bread (pappadeaux)
snack = grapes & a few pretzels

ashamed...

i feel so ashamed over the crap i ate today...i have no right to complain abt slow weight loss...ugh...i suck :(

brekkie

2 cinnamon rolls & 2 egg & potato tacos

i'm not eating again til tmrw...oy!

food log...star date 03.22.2008 :P

what? i love Star Trek...anyway...

a.m. = toasted bun, 1 egg, 2 veggie sausage patties w/a bit of ketchup (i had a craving, it was the best i could do under the circumstances) approx. calories ~ 450*
noon = veggie delight & sm. wonton soup (w/1 wonton)

*normally, i could care less how many calories are in what i eat, b/c i'm eating so healthy...but when i eat like this, I need to notate it for future reference. The veggie sausage patties were actually pretty tasty. I mean, I could tell they were veggie & not meat, but they still tasted pretty good :)

Time to eat! *last update of the day*

So, here goes for today:

a.m. = Smoothie (banana, pineapple, bag o'mixed froz fruit & 1/2 c van soymilk)
noon = spinach, tomato & a small bag of froz strawberries thawed and tossed on top (w/splash of rasp. balsamic vin.)
p.m. = Saltgrass steakhouse...yeah, sinning again...7 oz. filet (rare), house salad (honey mustard dressing...couldn't resist!), abt 5 fried mushrooms, & less than half of my romano potatoes...NO DESSERT! (you should be proud of me)
snack = don't think i'll be eating a snack today, after that giant dinner...

I should really fast today, especially after that huge ass sandwich last night. I don't know how the man forgot lettuce. I always make it simple when I tell him what I want - turkey, lettuce, tomato. That's it...Yes, I like onion, too. And those yummy little banana peppers. But, I feel like I'm testing his ability to remember shit if I mention more than three things. From now on, I'll just get my own sandwich! haha...(and I really should stick to the veggie sandwich too :( *sigh*)

No cardio today...my body hurts :( But, I'm fully planning on doing my core & weight workout.

That's it for now...ttfn!!

accountability... *updated*

So, as a way of keeping myself accountable for:

1. what I eat
2. actually eating

I'm going to start logging what I eat here...I can just update the post whenever I eat something else that day...1 post a day...what do you think? Shouldn't be that bad...though it may be hard to post over the weekend, as I don't get online much...However, I can post from my phone. So, maybe I'll do that on weekends...or maybe I'll just do that whenever I can't get to the computer right away. (Expect "dinner" posts to be made this way...heh)

So, here's what I got for today:

Breakfast: Smoothie (pineapple, strawberries & a banana + 1/2 c vanilla soymilk)
Snack: 1 slice of salami (bad :( *sigh*), small bunch grapes & a shot of pomegranate juice
Lunch: small bowl (maybe 1 cup cooked) pasta w/ 1/2 cup homemade sauce (diced tomatoes, onion, garlic, mushrooms, v. little oil)
Dinner: I was kinda bad...had a whole Turkey & Provolone sub...yeah, all 12"...nothing bad on it...the man forgot the lettuce, but it had tomatoes & onions w/lots of vinegar, just like I like :)

I'm still kinda hungry...I think I'll go drink some water...ttfn!

p.s. at least I didn't have any cookies today! lol

retarded...

My weight loss, that is...I think I've been sabotaging myself. Not necessarily w/what I've been eating (though that could certainly use a bit of improvement), but w/the fact that I haven't been eating breakfast right away (and sometimes not at all). I haven't been drinking my fruit smoothies and I think that's why my weight hasn't been going anywhere lately. (Plus, the kitty had a nosebleed last week, but w/e...that's just water weight.) Anyway, I need to drink my smoothies!!! I just can't handle working out after I eat...but for whatever reason, I haven't wanted to eat after working out either. Gonna hafta fix that and see if that helps w/the weight loss. :) ttfn!

well, this is it...

This is the closest you will ever get to a "before" picture from me...I hate how short I am...really. Though, I think the angle of the camera phone doesn't help me any...

I am but a hair away from 24 lbs. lost right here...definitely a "pear", eh? lol...damn, my hips are huge. Then again, my ASS is huge! haha...Boobies are squished by the exercise bra :( booo!! lol

Anyway, I look better in jeans, but I figured I'd give y'all a look-see as to how I look pre-workout...finally gonna finish that up now (did my core stability work just prior to the pic & typing this up). Off to do my daily cardio...ttfn!!

yesterday...

I think yesterday was probably one of the worst days I've had in a very long time. Just seemed like people were attacking me left and right. And I know they really weren't, it's just that's the way it felt.

I came across this quote the other day, and it really made me stop & think:

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”

Wayne Dyer

This is so fuckin' true, it's not even funny...goodness. So, there it is...gotta keep working on fixing myself and fuck the rest of the assholes in this world. ;)

I'd write more, but I'm at a loss for words right now. Basking in the glory of sweet, kind friends. ttfn!

wtf am i eating?

As I'm chewing my lovely "active greens" raw food bar I'm thinking...what the fuck am I eating??? Reminder to self: stick to the cranberry ones...please!!

Ingredient list (certified organic, thankyouverymuch): organic almond butter, organic dates, organic agave nectar, organic brown rice protein, organic biodynamic (demeter) raisins, organic bio sprouts - flax, organic bio sprouts - quinoa, organic wheat grass juice powder, organic barley grass juice powder, organic sesame seeds, organic spirulina, organic blueberry, organic raspberry, organic broccoli sprouts, organic beet juice, organic carrot juice "and lots of love!"

Now, the label also states that it is 90% raw...7 g dietary fiber (no shit...ha! i made a funny)...12 g organic protein...alkaline forming (very important, btw)...non-GMO (really important)...no refined sugars...4000 mg phytonutrient rich superfoods....

sounds healthy, doesn't it? and i'm sure it is...but chomping on this muthafucka is like chewing on rabbit pellets (not that i KNOW, but that's what i'd guess it's like)...yeesh...

Flavours tried:

Cranberry vote: thumbs up!
Active Greens vote: thumbs down!

If you wanna try 'em for yourself, here's the linkage: Organic Food Bars
(can also be found at allstarhealth.com - though I found mine at the local HEB ;) heh)

yummm....

Have you ever just started throwing some food together without any recipe, any plan, and it comes out FANTASTIC?? Well, I have and just did! OMG...this salad is probably one of the best things I've ever had...yeah, I know..."it's just a salad" but, man! It's good...here's what I threw together:

• about 2 cups of baby spinach
  
• few leaves of curly lettuce, chopped
• 1 roma tomato, chopped
• 1 cup lettuce roll filling (shredded carrot, shredded red onion, chopped tomato & bell pepper)
• 1/4 cup crushed pineapple (canned, packed in juice - not syrup)
• 2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

for the dressing, I blended:

• 1/2 tsp of sesame oil
• 1 tbsp Bragg's liquid aminos (tastes like soy sauce, but it's HEALTHY)
• 1 clove crushed garlic
• 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 oz. raw cashews (i'm guessing - it was about 1/2 a handful)

It's sooo yummy. Whenever I make the lettuce roll filling, I make enough for it to last a few days. And the first three ingredients of the dressing are actually what make up the dipping sauce I use for the rolls. :)

Anyway, just thought I'd share...ttfn!!

p.s. I probably put more vinegar than that in the dressing...I'm a vinegar freak and could literally drink the stuff :P hehe

you know...i try

I try to stay motivated...I try really hard not to "cheat". And I know that I am super-strict and hard on myself sometimes. But, I really NEED to be that way. I need to give myself more "tough love" and less "awww...it's ok, you can have another rice krispie treat" :( I gained four fucking lbs since last week. Wanna know why? Because I stopped exercising (made stupid excuses) and started eating a rash of shit that's not good for me. Dammit!! Now, I know it's mostly just me retaining water (I can see the edema, so I'm sure that's what it is). But still...wtf?? I KNOW I have to do this stuff. I KNOW I need to exercise at least 5 days a week. I KNOW I can't be eating Chinese food (even if I do order the veggie plate w/steamed rice). Whaaaaaat theeeeee fuuuuuuuuuuck??? I know I am being harsh, but after so many years of being overweight and eating whatever I wanted, etc., ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I feel so good when I exercise...I feel so good when I'm eating healthy. And I know that's what I need to fucking focus on, but it's so much easier to call myself a dumbass for eating bad food & not getting off my ass. :( Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so...to recap the important stuff...

1. Exercising feels great! My body loves to MOVE!!
   
2. Eating lots of healthy fruits and veggies makes me feel like I have more energy.
3. Drinking more water, while not tasty, is better for me than drinking Crystal Light.
4. Getting OFF of the computer and spending time on ME is necessary for my happiness.

I am doing all this because:

1. I want to be healthy
2. I want to be happy
3. I want to have enough energy to do ANYTHING
4. I want to learn how to ride a bike
5. I want to samba in Brazil one day
6. I want to learn a martial art
7. I want to NOT give a shit if people witness me eating (god forbid! lol)
   
8. I want to go into any fucking store and buy clothes that fit and look good on me
9. I want men to want me and women to look at me with envy

So, there :P~

I needed that....

updates...weeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Well, it's been over a week, and I'm still eating vegan...shocking, eh? ;)

Seriously, it hasn't been that bad. Aside from a minor freak out when DH wanted to eat at Pappadeaux, it's been easy-peasy. I have my fruit smoothie in the morning (2-3 pieces of fruit, tossed in the blender along w/a 1/2 c of vanilla soymilk & a tbsp of ground flaxseed)...for lunch, it's usually a salad and some hummus & pita bread (I still loves mah hummus)...for dinner, salad &/or cooked veggies & some more fruit. Honestly, I love salad...AND fruit...sometimes together!! hehe...I have a recipe for this awesome blueberry dressing - it is SOOOO good! Of course, my fave dressing right now is a mix of: freshly pressed garlic, horseradish, dijon mustard & balsamic vinegar. DH says I've been eating so much garlic that it's starting to come out of my pores! eeeeep!! It's all good though, he says it's not "offensive". :D

Since this is the first week where I felt even relatively healthy, I've started working out again. I have a few workout DVDs to rotate, and a book w/core, lower body & upper body exercises to do. The schedule in the book is to work out M, T, Th & F. So, I'm doing my regular aerobics DVDs on those days as well (prior to the exercises) & I'm going to do my yoga workouts (killer DVDs w/Shiva Rea - LOVE her!!) on W & Sat. Sunday will be my day of rest. (I'm gonna need it!)

Anyway, that's it for now. Still working on getting stuff together for FCI. More on that another day. ;) ttfn!

more on the vegan thing...(now that i'm not pressed for time)

Ok, if you know me at all, then you know that I love meat, cheese, etc....so, the vegan thing is truly a radical change for me. Not that I don't eat vegetables & fruit on a daily basis, because I do. In fact, I'd wager that I eat more than most people do (considering my fave side dish is coleslaw [and not the mayo-drenched nastiness - I like mine drowned in vinegar, thanks]). And I simply cannot live w/o fruit. Going w/o fruit was the absolute worst part of trying to follow Atkins...let me tell you, I was sneaking in the berries as soon as I could on that diet. But, Atkins nearly killed me. My blood pressure went thru the roof. God only knows what happened w/my cholesterol. And yeah, when I couldn't take being on Atkins anymore, I came as close as I ever want to get to becoming diabetic.

Anyway, I've never been a veggie-lover. I've always loved fruit - in fact, I can only think of one fruit that I don't like, and that's papaya (used to be grapefruit and papaya, but I've learned to like grapefruit now). I love berries, and cherries (in fact, all stone fruit), and grapes, apples, bananas, every citrus you can name, persimmons, pomegranates, star fruit, kiwi fruit...you name it, I like it. But veggies? Not so much...I've always known they were good for me, but have never enjoyed eating the majority of them. And even though I do love cheese (it's a sickness, I swear), I didn't even like eating them smothered in cheese sauce. *sigh*

As a child, I loved salad - always preferred veggies raw, actually. But I hated the cooked stuff...greens, broccoli, spinach, blech....Of course, I finally tried spinach raw in salad and that was fantastic! I went thru an experimental stage in my mid-20's. Bought a ton of vegetarian cookbooks and started trying things. I found out that I hate eggplant, but love cauliflower. And that zucchini wasn't so bad, in fact most squashes were pretty tasty. Eventually I learned to enjoy broccoli & spinach cooked...though, for some reason, I still rather have the broccoli stems than the florets. (Spinach topped w/a nice Bearnaise sauce is divine, btw!!!) But, again, not so much the other veggies.

So, I'm still experimenting, it seems. I'm going to give eggplant another go, since it seems to be used quite heavily in vegan cooking. I've never tried cooked greens on my own (always avoided my mom's Caldo Verde - portuguese kale soup, though sometimes made w/collard greens instead), so that will be new territory. Who knows? Maybe I'll find I really love all this stuff? *shrug*

For now, however, I will stick to my salads and soups. I made some delicious cabbage soup the other night. And there is the aforementioned hummus...mmmmmm....hummus!!! I could eat that stuff all day w/raw veggies. (Although, I think I need to add a wee bit more horseradish to it next time - I loves me some horseradish!) There's another dish I love to make w/steamed spinach and broiled mushrooms that have been marinated lightly in Bragg's Liquid Aminos (tastes like soy sauce)....mmmm :D So, yeah...I'm finally learning to love my vegetables. Who would have thought??

I still can't stomach the tofu, but I figure I'm gonna hafta try that again as well. I don't know how people cope w/that funky taste. Soy milk, tofu...it all has that taste! Just awful. I'm still on the hunt for a brand that tastes good. For now, I guess I'll use fortified rice milk if I need to. I can handle the soy cheese, but I'm not eating that stuff during the 6 wks.

I don't know - DH says I have extreme willpower to do this. But, I don't think it's really willpower. I'm just as tempted by a Ding Dong as the next person. ;) So, yeah, it's not willpower...it's determination. I am determined to be healthy. I am determined to live longer. I am determined to set a good example for my children so that they grow up to be healthy. I am determined not to die before my time...that is all. ;)

vegan...seriously? yes, seriously...

Well, I finally did it...I started following the 6 wk plan from Eat to Live by Dr. Fuhrman. I'm going to be vegan for (at least) the next 6 wks or so.

To sum up the book, Dr. Fuhrman basically recommends the following daily diet:

UNLIMITED

Eat as much as you want

• All raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1 lb daily)
• Cooked green vegetables (goal: 1 lb daily)
• Beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu (1 cup daily)
• Fresh fruit (at least 4 daily)
• Eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes

LIMITED

Not more than one serving (1 cup) per day

• Cooked starchy vegetables or whole grains (butternut or acorn squash, corn, potatoes, rice, cooked carrots, sweet potatoes, breads, cereals)
• Raw nuts and seeds (1 oz max per day)
• Avocado (2 oz max per day)
• Ground flaxseed (1 tbsp per day)

OFF-LIMITS

• Dairy products
• Animal products
• Between-meal snacks
• Fruit juice & dried fruit

When you're done w/the weight loss portion of it all, he basically recommends a 90/10 way of eating. Meaning 90% of your diet is made up of what's listed above, and 10% can be made up of everything else. ;) So, we're gonna see if I can hack it for the 6 wks and if so, I'll just continue that until I've reached my goal weight. I had already dropped a few lbs from being sick for so long, but I've dropped another 4 lbs since Monday (granted, this could partially be water weight, but I couldn't say for sure). One thing I can say w/certainty is - I LOVE hummus. I made some hummus yesterday, along w/some whole wheat pitas (yes, from scratch) and man....deeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious!!! :D stuffed the pita w/some tomato, lettuce and onion, slathered on the hummus and yowza! Anyway, just thought I'd share...ttfn!