I'm still standing better than I ever did...

(hey, it's the only Elton John song I like, gimme a break)

Ok, so...shitloads of water weight gain later...I'm finally on the fast. This shit tastes disgusting, but I'm dealing w/it by not breathing while I drink :p heh I think I may need to go back to the maple syrup afterall, b/c the molasses version is FOUL...ya hear? holla!!

Anyway, the water will melt off...the weight will go back to what it was, and things will be fine. Realized Saturn finally went direct in Virgo the other day, so I think that's gonna help me get back on target. :) (what? oh, leave astrology alone for a day...)

The first few days are always the most difficult. But, after that it should be smooth sailing....

Start date of fast: 05/05/08 (hey! cinco de mayo...whoopee)
Last day of fast: 05/15/08
Transition period: 05/16 - 05/19

Yeah, it's hard to go back to food after not eating for awhile. It basically goes like this - continue w/fasting liquid, add broth; next day - liquid, broth, then juice; day after that - liquid, broth, juice, then soup; day after that (last day of transition) - liquid, broth, juice, soup, fruit. After that, you can pretty much go back to eating "normally"...ya know, but HEALTHIER. Otherwise, you went thru all that for nothing. I leave for NYC on May 23rd. Don't know how things will fare whilst on the road, but it shouldn't be too terrible. :) Anyway, that's all I've got to add right now. Will update again soon...

writing...

In an effort to dust off my writing skills, I've decided to write a few articles for this here blog. I'm trying to jot down ideas every day and such. I think 2-3 articles a week would be good for now.

The plan is to write one article based on this little weight loss journey I'm on & another article about food in general. The food article would probably comprise a recipe or two, along w/some pictures or something, and some general info about the nutrients found in said food. I think that would be interesting for some people b/c I know I'm always looking for new recipes & stuff to try. So, actually, this will benefit in two ways, b/c I'll be honing my writing skills AND my photography skills at once! Wee! :)

Anyway, as for the more personal article, I don't know. I think I can help people who are struggling or having a hard time of things. I know I don't always have an easy time w/all this. But, I love to help people and think it would be awesome if something I wrote inspired someone or helped in some way. So, that's the plan...just thought I'd put that out there, that way I'm held accountable. I had the intention to do it, now I've stated it, so now I have to do it!

The kids should be home soon, so I better get ready to go back out & have some fun while the sun's still shining. (Not that it ever really stops shining in Texas *sigh*) ttfn!

ow! ow! ow!

My thighs were apparently planning a revolt overnight, based upon the torture and torment that I put them through yesterday. Because today, they are barely functioning...talk about revenge! haha...weight went down a notch...I think I'm gaining muscle right now from the weight lifting I've been doing. Yes, I know, I haven't been logging it, but trust me...my arms and legs can attest to it! ;)

disturbing precedent

I don't know what's wrong w/me...I keep STOPPING :( I don't like stopping...stopping means not moving, not moving means no progression, no progression means no results, no results means my fat ass stays MY FAT ASS! Not good...must change that...will do so now! toodles!

measurements....

so, I was bored earlier & decided to take my measurements...I was able to compare w/measurements I had taken in Dec last yr when I was 294 lbs (yeah, that's not a typo), which is very close to my starting weight of 303 lbs (again, NOT an effin' typo) as of Jan 28th :P

Here's what I got (along w/what I've lost in parens):

Neck: 15 1/2" (-1/2")
Bust: 49 1/2" (-1")
Chest: 40 1/2" (-1/2")
Waist: 44" (-3")
Hips: 57" (-3")
Thighs: 33 1/2" (-1 1/2")
Calves: 19" (-1/2")
Upper Arm: 19" (-1/2")
Forearm: 11 1/2" (-1/2")

Soooooooooooooo, the grand total is -11 inches, bay-bee!! woohoo!

clothes...

so, I know I shouldn't buy much in the way of clothes, but I haven't been buying much lately, and I hate most of the clothes I have...plus, I HATE IT when my jeans are loose. I'm not even exaggerating, I really f'in hate it when the tummy "pooches out" & shit...omg...you've no idea how much that drives me nuts...anyway...

so, I bought two new tops and...brace yourself...a skirt...holy shit, yes, I bought a f'in skirt!! I can't even tell you the last time I bought a skirt, let alone wore one. So, here's the kicker...back in January, I bought a few shirts...all size 22/24. Yesterday, the shirts I got were 18/20!!! And they fit BEAUTIFULLY!!! Now, I'm still a 24 in pants (I think...I've been buying Right Fit jeans and have gone from a 7, to a 6, and now I'm a 5), but the skirt I got? Size 22, baby!!! Holy shit...a 22! Now, I can get away w/a smaller skirt b/c of my waist...It's my damned hips & ass that keep me in 24s. :(

Anyway, slowly but surely, the sizes are going down! I'll try to post some pics tomorrow...maybe...I need to chill out today and do some minor pampering...you know...like actually shaving my legs ;) haha...can't remember the last time I did that either (I'm so hairless, it's not funny, which is why I never shave) :P Seriously, though, my legs are blindingly white...need to shave & use some sort of sunless tanner stuff...hehe...toodles!

30 lbs!!

*happy dance* 30 lbs lost!! w00t!! (30.3, to be exact)

i'm a happy, happy girl! ;)

body for life goals

so, part of the whole body for life (bfl) program is setting up a series of goals you would like to achieve in the 12 weeks of the program. now, mind you...if i start this thing next monday, i won't be done until June 30th. which is a few weeks after my start at FCI...it will be interesting to see how i get my workouts in then! heh anyway, here's what i've got so far:

Goals

1. I will lose 40 lbs of fat within 12 weeks
   
2. I will bench press 100 lbs within 12 weeks
3. I will jog 1 mile within 12 weeks
4. I will do a yoga headstand within 12 weeks
5. I will do 100 crunches w/o stopping within 12 weeks

Unauthorized Patterns of Action

• I will eat high-nutrient foods & limit all low-nutrient foods (no cheating!!)
  
• I will not skip any workouts
• I will allow myself only ONE "cheat" day per week (NOT 2)
  

New Patterns of Action

• I will lift weights four three* days a week
• I will eat six mini-meals a day
• I will get more sleep (at least 7 hrs a night)

oh, and i will make sure to read my goals & action items every morning & every night ;)


*edited to just three...dude doesn't want you lifting weights more than 3x's a week :(

woohoo!

down another pound! yeah, bay-bee!!! I knew that hour of cardio yesterday would pay off!! haha
today, my thighs are killing me though...must've been all those squats! (eep!)

i've already gotten my core stability workout in...will do an hour of walking today (nothing crazy! no power walking, dangit!) to get a little cardio in, but i'm gonna give my thighs a break

today's danger is going out to lunch w/a friend...haven't seen her in ages...but you know...eating out is never easy when you're trying to eat "clean" (as i put it) here's proof!!

anyway, i shall do my best...maybe i can convince her to go to the mall...i can get my walking in & they have an awesome salad bar there...*crosses fingers* we shall see ;)

finally!

finally saw the numbers going down this morning (and yesterday, a little, but that was recovery from the debauchery of this weekend past)...that was a relief...

i actually did a little over 1 hr of cardio today...w00t!! :D i popped in the Crunch Fitness Dance Party dvd first...made it thru about 15 mins of that before i wanted to kill the dancing bitch in front of me (hahaha)...and then popped in my Walk@Home dvd & did the whole workout...maaaaaan, my legs were KILLING ME...the dance dvd is kinda challenging, and i definitely moved around more...but it was fun! :)

ooh, ooh! and i ordered the Turbo Jam Maximum Results set from beachbody.com today!! weeeeeee!!!!! I can't wait to get it...i know that it will totally kill me and that i will barely be able to finish the "learn & burn" starter dvd, but it will soooo be worth it...i've heard so many great things about this set, i couldn't resist. :) w/the bonus pkg i'm getting a total of 6 dvds, plus weighted gloves and some other fun stuff...i'll definitely let you know how it goes - what i can do, and what kills me! hahaha

anyway, that's all the news that's fit to print right now ;) gonna see if i can squeeze in my core exercises today as well...wish me luck! ttfn

goals...

i so wanted to write "we don't need no stinking goals", but yeah...we do...now, i have one really long term goal, but i don't have many short term ones. i don't know if that's deliberate or not, actually...

you see, i'm mostly focused on improving my health. i want to be able to withstand standing for 10+ hrs/day while at FCI and i want to be healthier re: my blood sugar & cholesterol...

i mean, i've planned on rewarding myself (NOT with food! lol) for each 20 lbs lost, but that's about it....

right now, i'd just be so happy to get under 260 lbs....that particular weight seems to be my plateau point & it's always so hard to break thru that i end up giving up....but i refuse to give up this time, dang it!! :( i NEED to lose this weight...

so, there you have it...that's my current short term goal - get under 260 :P wish me luck!

**updated to add** as of today (3/27) i'm only 16.2 lbs away!!! weeeeee!!!!! maybe i'll be able to hit it by the end of april?? especially since i've got that turbo jam dvd set comin' in...woohoo!

retarded...

My weight loss, that is...I think I've been sabotaging myself. Not necessarily w/what I've been eating (though that could certainly use a bit of improvement), but w/the fact that I haven't been eating breakfast right away (and sometimes not at all). I haven't been drinking my fruit smoothies and I think that's why my weight hasn't been going anywhere lately. (Plus, the kitty had a nosebleed last week, but w/e...that's just water weight.) Anyway, I need to drink my smoothies!!! I just can't handle working out after I eat...but for whatever reason, I haven't wanted to eat after working out either. Gonna hafta fix that and see if that helps w/the weight loss. :) ttfn!

well, this is it...

This is the closest you will ever get to a "before" picture from me...I hate how short I am...really. Though, I think the angle of the camera phone doesn't help me any...

I am but a hair away from 24 lbs. lost right here...definitely a "pear", eh? lol...damn, my hips are huge. Then again, my ASS is huge! haha...Boobies are squished by the exercise bra :( booo!! lol

Anyway, I look better in jeans, but I figured I'd give y'all a look-see as to how I look pre-workout...finally gonna finish that up now (did my core stability work just prior to the pic & typing this up). Off to do my daily cardio...ttfn!!

you know...i try

I try to stay motivated...I try really hard not to "cheat". And I know that I am super-strict and hard on myself sometimes. But, I really NEED to be that way. I need to give myself more "tough love" and less "awww...it's ok, you can have another rice krispie treat" :( I gained four fucking lbs since last week. Wanna know why? Because I stopped exercising (made stupid excuses) and started eating a rash of shit that's not good for me. Dammit!! Now, I know it's mostly just me retaining water (I can see the edema, so I'm sure that's what it is). But still...wtf?? I KNOW I have to do this stuff. I KNOW I need to exercise at least 5 days a week. I KNOW I can't be eating Chinese food (even if I do order the veggie plate w/steamed rice). Whaaaaaat theeeeee fuuuuuuuuuuck??? I know I am being harsh, but after so many years of being overweight and eating whatever I wanted, etc., ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I feel so good when I exercise...I feel so good when I'm eating healthy. And I know that's what I need to fucking focus on, but it's so much easier to call myself a dumbass for eating bad food & not getting off my ass. :( Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so...to recap the important stuff...

1. Exercising feels great! My body loves to MOVE!!
   
2. Eating lots of healthy fruits and veggies makes me feel like I have more energy.
3. Drinking more water, while not tasty, is better for me than drinking Crystal Light.
4. Getting OFF of the computer and spending time on ME is necessary for my happiness.

I am doing all this because:

1. I want to be healthy
2. I want to be happy
3. I want to have enough energy to do ANYTHING
4. I want to learn how to ride a bike
5. I want to samba in Brazil one day
6. I want to learn a martial art
7. I want to NOT give a shit if people witness me eating (god forbid! lol)
   
8. I want to go into any fucking store and buy clothes that fit and look good on me
9. I want men to want me and women to look at me with envy

So, there :P~

I needed that....